Redefining Friendship: A Journey from Innocence to Authenticity
Here’s a riddle for you: “The less of them you have, the more one is worth.” If you haven’t figured it out yet, the answer is ‘a friend.’ And that’s exactly what I want to talk about today.
Google defines a friend as “a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.” It’s a simple and straightforward explanation, but I want to delve deeper and share some of my personal thoughts and experiences around this concept.
Growing up, I was the kind of person who could be friends with almost anyone. I was never confined to one specific group. I had friends among the big guys and the small guys, and in a sense, I was known by almost everyone. Even as a child, the idea of having a “best friend” seemed strange to me. When you know a lot of people, how do you choose one person to wear that label? So while I had a number of good friends, I never had a “best friend.”
As an 8-year-old, my understanding of friendship was simple: A friend is someone you know, like, enjoy spending time with, and for whom you’d do nice things. Childhood friendships are beautiful because they are so pure — there are no lies, no deceit, just innocent connections. With that mindset, I had plenty of friends throughout my school years. But when school ended, I found myself feeling alone because I wasn’t part of any particular group. I just knew a lot of people.
But life has a funny way of moving on. Before I realized it, I was in high school, still carrying that same childlike notion of friendship. I consider high school to be one of the dullest periods of my life. It was during this time that I began to see the flaw in my thinking. The innocence that I had cherished in friendships was gone. People became two-faced — at least, that’s what I observed and experienced. The transition from being a carefree child to stepping into the real world was eye-opening. One of the biggest lessons I learned during this phase was, “Friendship is a two-way street. Just because you consider someone a friend doesn’t mean they see you the same way.”
Oddly enough, I was somewhat relieved when the pandemic hit. It provided a much-needed break from the toxic environment that high school had become. The pandemic, combined with my journey through my bachelor’s program, forced me to redefine my idea of friendship. A lot changed in my personal life during this period, and the way I viewed the world, people, and friendships shifted completely.
After a lot of self-reflection, I realized that you can’t mold yourself around the idea of friendship. Instead, you have to mold your definition of friendship to suit your life. Today, I have a new perspective. To me, a friend is someone with whom you can be your true self, and someone who is genuinely happy for you when something good happens in your life.
Friendship is undoubtedly a complex concept, and many things contribute to what makes someone a “good friend.” But for me, this ability to be your authentic self and find someone who is genuinely happy for your successes tops the list. I don’t have a large group of friends who fit this mindset, but the ones I do have are some of the most amazing people in my life. I’ve come to realize that the world will judge you for anything and everything you do, which makes having someone around who accepts your true self, without judgment, incredibly important. In a world full of lies, finding people who are genuinely happy for you is rare.
After navigating through various friendships and learning some tough lessons, I’ve settled on this outlook, and I see myself sticking with it for quite a long time.
